This should scare 'em

Horror stories frighten children, but can turn into a bit of fun when trusted adults assure them they are made-up, and that the beasties and bogles don't really exist. Seeing adults make fun out of the monsters can help children do the same, while at the same time enjoying the tingle of a scary story.

But horror stories about the climate told by alarmists to children have no such happy ending. They need to persuade them the scares are real, and really threatening. The best they can do for their young spirits is to assert that we can do something about it. But how is a child to get this into perspective? You are, say, 8 years old and you have to help save the planet, or else?

Here is what one project designed to increase the awareness of children about climate did earlier this year in London. They got a successful writer of vampire stories for children, a Mr Darren Shan, to pen a piece for them on climate change. Here it is:

‘If London gets hotter and drier, everyone will sweat more! The city will stink of sweaty armpits and feet and other body bits!! The heat will turn the sweat to steam, which means we'll be walking through swog (sweaty smog) every time we step outside!!! Every time you breathe in, it will be like licking a slug's belly!!!! There will be no more trains in the tube - you'll simply grab a rubber ring and sail down an underground river of sweat to your destination!!!!!

‘Unless you LIKE sweat, it's time to start walking whenever you can, use public transport, recycle, don't waste water or energy - hey, we're not talking rocket science here! The world's in bad shape, and a lot of people don't care - they're going to carry on as recklessly and selfishly as before. Don't be one of them. Fight the good fight. Do what you can to help the environment. Try getting your friends to do their bit too. We're NOT helpless. This is a battle we CAN win. But only with people like YOU. It's going to take billions of small, personal steps to stop climate change and get our planet back on track. Every one of those steps is essential. Every individual counts. Be brave. Be considerate. Be smart. Or prepare yourself for the horrors to come as one of the unfortunate, stench-ridden citizens of PLANET SWEAT!!!!!!’

(Published at: http://www.london.gov.uk/media/press_releases_mayoral/young-people%C2%A0urged-give-creative%C2%A0climate-change%C2%A0ideas-top%C2%A0vampire%C2%A0autho)

Now of course there is no good science to back up this scaremongering. Even the IPCC projections, which of course the real temperatures have stubbornly refused to comply with, talk only of a few degrees of warming. Thus London with a average low/high temperatures in January of 32F/44F and 52F/71F in July, could still be cooler than the current climate in Rome which has average lows/highs of 38F/55F in January and 64F/83F in July (http://goeurope.about.com/od/historicclimate/Europe_Climate_Historic_Averages.htm).

Who would trade the climate of Rome for the climate of London? Not scary at all. In fact, quite attractive. But of course when you are a zealot, you must not concede any benefits from the devils you are trying to paint into the world view of others, and so instead we are given breathing as like 'licking a slug's belly', and the tube as an 'underground river of sweat'.

Here is how one tourist site ( http://londonhotelsinsight.com/2010/04/19/big-city-showdown-london-or-rome/ ) sees it:

'London’s annual average temperature is 11°C, whilst Rome’s is 16°C.

Result: Rome is a clear winner, unless you’re keen on drizzle and scarves!'

One of the problems facing alarmists intent on scaring children into conformance, is that there are many benefits to be gained from a further rise in temperatures in the temperate to polar regions (where they assert the largest rises would occur), and in fact even quite a modest cooling there would present many problems. There are of course grounds to believe that we may well entering a cooling phase for the next 20 years or so. Perhaps Mr Shan will have to be brought back in with a different brief, this one involving perhaps icebergs in the Thames, and underground rivers of ice? Or better still, if it does indeed get cooler over the next few years, how about bringing him back as a warning to children to be wary of adults trying to scare them? And as an indictment of whoever commissioned him in London in 2010 to frighten their children.

PS I meant to add this earlier. About a month after the London report referred to above, there were reports published based on a research paper speculating about very uncomfortable, indeed life-threatening temperatures being reached. This has been rebutted here: http://pielkeclimatesci.wordpress.com/2010/05/13/comments-on-the-study-researchers-find-future-temperatures-could-exceed-livable-limits/